Monday, June 24, 2013

Lose the Fear


Our Guest Blogger -  Deanna Heiliger is a teacher and an inspirational writer and speaker. She is happily married, raising four sweet daughters. For encouragement with and support in becoming a "Better You” visit her weekly blog: www.metothepowerofwe.com and visit her fan page on Facebook for a daily dose of positive goodness: www.facebook.com/metothepowerofwe

Fear is quite an interesting thing. It is different for everyone and comes in all shapes and sizes. Some fear lasts a lifetime, and other fear seems to mysteriously appear out of nowhere. Fear can cover a huge spectrum; from fear of getting a splinter to fear of dying. What is fear exactly and how do we overcome it?
Since fear is a personal thing, and not everyone has the same fear, how does it become ours? How can one person be afraid of heights and not be afraid of spiders? I have met people who honestly are not afraid of anything. Doesn’t this make you want to learn more about fear? The notion of fear peeks my interest as well.
Fear is a psychosomatic response. It is purely emotional and mental. This means, that it is different for everyone, depending on the individual’s past experiences and mental and emotional state. Fear is also a very real response, because it is based on the individual’s experiences. What do you fear?
When I was a small child two things happened to me that make me fearful and uncomfortable of tight and enclosed areas: I was zipped up in a sleeping bag (not for very long, but it seemed long as I was panicking), and I was trapped inside a stuck elevator. To this day I do not like to ride in elevators…I have to talk myself into thinking I will be ok.
Here is a basic definition of fear: Fear is an emotion induced by a perceived threat which causes entities to quickly pull far away from it and usually hide. It is a basic survival mechanism occurring in response to a specific stimulus, such as pain or the threat of danger.
Fear is an emotional response to danger, but unfortunately, a lot of us feel fear when we are not in danger. We feel fear based on our thinking about what may happen. We are thinking about our past; and therefore worrying that the same awful things will occur again (such as my elevator example), or…we are worrying about future situations that may never even occur.
So a lot of our fear is simply based on worry.
I may have a real fear of being trapped in an elevator again, because it already happened to me, but it is pretty unlikely that it will. For us to worry and be fearful of something that has never happened to us is very unproductive and stifling.
Worrying (or fearing) is praying for something you do not want!
That is exactly what we are doing…focusing, praying, and attracting to us something we do not want. So, when we notice we are being fearful or worrying about something that will unlikely happen, we need to replace those detrimental thoughts with healthy thoughts. We need to think about what we do want and focus on that.
If you worry about not having enough money, then you are attracting “Not having enough money” into your life. If you are fearful of always being alone, then you are attracting “Always being alone” into your life. If you fear spiders, I bet you run into spiders more often than someone who does not have that fear.
SO…begin to be aware of what you worry about and what you fear. Try to retrain your brain, so that when these stifling thoughts come to mind, you can replace them with what you do want!
Remember, most of the things we worry about or have a fear of never happen!
Shift your focus and dissolve your worry and fear!

26 comments:

  1. Living with fear can be a very scary thing and most people can overcome their fears by changing their mindset. While others have to spend years in counseling to gain the tools and the encouragement to face those fears. Thank you for sharing Deanna.

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    1. Christy, you are so right, that living with fear can be very scary and hard! There are different levels of fear, which will dictate how much healing and counseling one will need. Thank you for your comment! -Deanna

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  2. really good article.. Fear is definitely psychosomatic..

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    1. Thank you Robert...keep growing! -Deanna

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  3. Everyone has some kind of fear, I guess it is really how you deal with the fear and move on that counts.

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    1. I agree Teresa, it IS how you deal with it that matters! -Deanna

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    1. Thank you Jacob...keep growing! -Deanna

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  5. Thanks for the reminder...great information!

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    1. You are welcome Susie, keep growing! -Deanna

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  6. Sounds like you can help a lot of people with their fears.

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    1. Thank you! Hopefully people will read and grow from my posts! -Deanna

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  7. Great article. Fear seems to overtake as we get older and have more responsibility.

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    1. I agree Brad that fear can take over if we let it! We do have the power of our thoughts and how we react to our fears. Thank you for your words! -Deanna

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  8. Fear, Is not always a bad thing, how you deal with it is important.

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    1. I agree, Dov...sometimes fear is what we need to proceed. Sometimes fear is an emotional indicator that we are heading in the wrong direction. Thank you for your comment! -Deanna

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  9. Yes, I have caught myself in that loop. You just have to stay postive

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    1. Kevin, I agree, being positive helps a lot with fear...because they both begin with our thoughts. Thank you for your comment...keep growing! -Deanna

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  10. This is a really good article. Thank you for the reminder.

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    1. Thank you for reading and growing with me! -Deanna

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  11. It's true that worrying about something happening is not a good use of your time or emotions. I'd rather think positive thoughts even if I am apprehensive about something.

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    1. That is so great! Thank you so much for your insight! -Deanna

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  12. This is such a good article! Man-o-man, it's so good.... yeah, I always thought that fear was the same as FAITH... just faith in the wrong thing... faith that the bad thing will happen instead of faith in the right thing... great blog :)

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    1. Thank you Robin for your insight...it is all how we look at things! -Deanna

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  13. I think it's interesting that we when we fear, we can actually will what we fear to happen. We self-sabotage ourselves and end up getting what are most afraid of when we allow fear to control us and live in fear instead of rising above it. Don Purdum

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    1. I agree, Don! Living in fear is self-sabotaging! Thank you for your thoughtful comment! -Deanna

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