Faith in the Process of Life

 Our Guest Blogger -  Deanna Heiliger is a teacher and an inspirational writer and speaker. She is happily married, raising four sweet daughters. For encouragement with and support in becoming a "Better You” visit her weekly blog: and visit her fan page on Facebook for a daily dose of positive goodness:

 Have you ever been in a place in your life where you feel stuck? Have you ever wondered why your path went a certain way and not another? Do you walk through life dragging your regrets right along with you? Do you question your past and doubt your future?

Well, you are in good company and certainly not alone. Most people have floundered at one time or another. Not everyone is happy with their past and many people are uncertain of their future. So, what can we do about this fact so that we can have Faith in the Process of Life and fully live in the present?

We must realize that if we are constantly living in regret and guilt and shame about our past, then we will continue to attract more of those unwanted situations into our future. We need to make peace with our past and then we can allow ourselves to move forward in health.

I know some of you may be thinking, "That's easier said than done." "How can I make peace with my past?", "You don't know how awful my childhood was.", "I've made so many poor decisions!"

I know how you feel. I have abuse in my past.
I have done numerous things that I regret.

Although the memories never go away...I assure you that you can heal and move forward in a healthy way. We can always decide to get help so that we may heal from our past hurts and mistakes. Sometimes it is an easy mind shift, and other times it takes a lot of hard work and counseling...but this is
your life!
It is ultimately your choice whether you want to be a victim or a victor!

We all have the ability to reflect. Most of us reflect on the negative situations in our life and we tend to get stuck there and dwell on the mishaps. It is somehow oddly comforting there. But, if we can look at the negative situations in our lives with an open mind, we will learn great lessons from our experiences.

We can always find the value in any situation if we look hard enough. We see what we want to see. Here's an example: My parents divorced when I was six years old. It was emotional and ugly at times. Throughout my life, I can recall feeling envious of my friends who still had their parents married. I would often wonder how my life would have been better had I grown up in a "Traditional" family situation. I was angry at them and at the situation. I blamed my parents divorce on some of the negative choices I made in my life. All of that is normal, but very unhealthy. It is a victim mentality.

When I was in college, I finally took ownership of my life. I was able to look at that same situation, among others, with an open mind and heart. You see, our paths take us where we need to go so that we will build certain character traits and learn certain lessons. Through that childhood experience I learned to be flexible, to adapt, to embrace change, and to cherish time with my family.

I have come to realize that being grateful for my parent's divorce is much healthier for me than resenting it. We can feel that way about any negative situation we are still hauling around. We can see the goodness in the hardships and become better for enduring them. We can choose a beautiful life no matter what is in our past. Start today!


  1. Throughout the spectrum of time I have also learned to value the adversities I have been faced with. I believe this type of acceptance of oneself comes with age and having truly experienced unconditional love. As a teacher, I am able to bestow upon my kids an inordinate amount of empathy, yet have clear boundaries. I am who I am because of my adversities and today I can say, I have been blessed. Thank you for the blog!


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